Life's been full.....now for reset mode....

The last couple of weeks have been full. Full in the best ways....the kind where you blink and days have gone by, and now I almost feel sad to admit, the kind of full that leaves me little wrung out once the dust settles.

It started with a weekend away in Lincoln with my side of the family, slow mornings, time to relax, lots of banter and laughing, and the kind of conversations you only have when you’re away from your usual routines. Then, not long after, we packed up for a weekend camping trip to Bath, with a wonderful group of families who were there for the same reason, the mix of fresh air, open space, and the simple of life basics and to watch our kids running around being kids, it was such a welcome shift.

Then was our 20th wedding anniversary...a milestone that felt joyful and exciting and emotional all at once. Some of Mark's family arrived to stay with us for a few days, which was so nice. We celebrated surrounded by family and friends in the room where we had our wedding breakfast two decades ago. There was so much laughter, stories, hugs, and so many people we love. But there was also that quiet sadness…I missed my Mum deeply that day, knowing she would have been there, right in the middle of it all, smiling at every detail. That mix of joy and grief is something I’ve learned to carry, both do exist together. And also, the grief I felt at how much I have changed, change is good for the most part, it's a privilege to get older and to learn and to evolve, but I also a felt little sad, that I felt so tired, that I am so different, and that a lot, not all, but some of that change is down to the cancer diagnosis I live with every second of every single day.

Not long after, we had Benji’s 6th birthday. His smile that morning was everything, pure excitement and chaos in the best way. There were presents, cake, family, and the happy kind of noise that fills your home. I LOVE a busy home, pets and kids and adults coming and going, helping themselves to the contents of the fridge. Watching the kids grow up in these moments feels like it’s happening in fast-forward, and I just want to freeze time sometimes.

Cancer....oh yeah, that.....

And somewhere in all of that....I stopped thinking about cancer. I don’t mean I forgot my reality, but I was so caught up in life that I almost had to remind myself: oh yeah, the cancer. It’s strange… after months where it’s been right at the front, to have it drift into the background felt both freeing and a little scary, that I am so poorly, but that I could crack on and actually enjoy myself. It reminded me that I still need to listen to my body, to rest when it asks, to notice the little signals. And after so much going on, my body eventually waved the white flag. Today it all caught up with me....total burnout. I’ve spent the day mostly in bed, getting up only for a long Epsom salt soak to try to ease the aches, and the stingy eyes, then moving to the garden to get a little fresh air. Even that felt like an accomplishment. Bloods next week, scan's are coming up shortly after that before the end of the month and then results and treatment at the beginning of September.

My skin has been so dry lately, so I’ve been pampering myself with Tropic products, I've found that they’re the cleanest, lowest-toxin brand around, and a little ritual of care that makes me feel (and hopefully, look) a little more human.

I’ve learned that these “reset days” aren’t a sign of weakness, they’re how you keep going. Some days are about ticking off lists and making plans. Other days are about listening, resting, and remembering you’re more than the expectations you put on yourself.

And even here, in the middle of this crash, I’m planning, and thinking… because the next ITSALOT drop is coming very soon. It’s something we’ve been chatting a lot about and I can’t wait to share it with you.

This brand was born from some of my hardest chapters...losing Mum to COVID, being diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma 18 months later....but it’s never been just about illness or grief. It’s about every way that life can feel like a lot: parenting, work, caring for others, loss, change, or just the relentless pace of everyday life.

Some days you power through. Some days you stop. Both matter.

Today, I’m stopping. Tomorrow, I’ll begin again, maybe a little slower, but it's a fresh day, HBOT first thing.

Claire x