The first post!

Why I am writing, why it matters and what you will find here.....

I never thought I’d start a blog about healing from cancer. I also never thought I’d be diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma, that kind of news turns your world upside down, ignites parts of your brain that you never knew existed, and forces you to rebuild your life piece by piece.

But here I am. Sharing it. And finding peace in that.

Because there’s something about the truth of this journey....the grief, the flight, the fight, the details...that needs to be spoke about, I thought about doing this on my social media, but I feel people don't always want to see my reality on their feeds during a lunch break, at least, this way, they can choose to click and read. And maybe, it helps someone else feel less alone, or it might spur someone along to make the doctors appointment that they have been putting off. Or maybe it just helps me deal with it all better. Either way, this is what I am here for!

What you’ll find here

Every week, sometimes more often, sometimes not, I’ll post a reflection from the heart of my life, what I’m tracking, what I am dealing with, what’s changing, what I’m learning. You’ll see:

Family life and joys and stress from raising 3 very strong children

My (sometimes dark) sense of humour, making light of my situation and always remembering to laugh

Sauna sweats and HBOT sessions

Tender chats about identity, motherhood, grief, news, mortality, relationships, friendships and families

Money worries, future plans

Honest and sad moments where I don’t know what to do next

And ALWAYS, the strength, determination, will and control to keep going

Because healing isn’t just meds and appointments....it’s also rage, relationships, resilience and remembering who I am beneath the diagnosis.

What’s already happened

Since my diagnosis, I’ve...

Stared at death in the face, had disease progression, regression, treatment refused, been stable, felt ok, felt shocking

Built a healing cabin in my garden with HBOT and an infrared sauna

Started a business called #ITSALOT with lots of help from my special people

Begun weaning off steroids, fasting, and tracking ketones daily

Navigated the NHS, my wonderful oncology team at The Royal Marsden, functional medicine, spiritual circles, and everything in between

Had the most beautiful mediumship reading from my mum in spirit after losing her to the most horrific passing when she contracted COVID in 2021

Also felt very cross with my Mum that she isn't here to support me through this

Lost 2 of my most precious sausage dogs, to old age, but that hit hard

Held my kids, and husband, and my Dad, while they cried, not knowing the way forward myself, and somehow kept showing up

It’s a lot. But I’m still here. Still sitting in the eye of the storm, which, is sometime the calmest place to be, while the choas goes on around me.

Why I’m sharing this now

Because I’ve made a promise to myself, not just to survive, but to choose to live, which sounds a bit cheesy and cliché, but it is so so true, and I mean actually living, not just waiting for results or news from the hospital, I mean making plans and laughing and creating memories.

To speak about things we often hide: illness, money fears, grief, joy.

This blog is a record of a me, rebuilding my life in the middle of the mess.

And it’s just the beginning. Nearly 2 years after my first symptoms.

I do hope you stick around, if something here speaks to you, check in, speak to someone, share it. Message me.

Because #ITSALOT. But it will all be OK. And I’m living it, honestly, imperfectly, but living.